I would like to say I am a logical person, although some might disagree with me on that point. I think I believe myself to be logical because I look at other people and see the lack of logic on their part. Take for instance Lil Miss’s mother yesterday afternoon. She calls me to confirm that Lil Miss will still be spending the night. Then she tells me that something or another is leaking in her car and would I mind picking her up and taking her to Lil Miss’s school to pick her up from school when it lets out for the day? You see Lil Miss’s mother picks her up every afternoon from school. I said I didn’t mind a bit, but wouldn’t it be better if I just go and pick Lil Miss up and drop her off at home? No, that wasn’t acceptable. Lil Miss’s mother was insistent that I pick HER up and driver HER to the school so SHE could pick Lil Miss up and then I would drive them home. So basically it meant one extra step for me which as far as I am concerned isn’t logical.

Although Lil Miss’s mother didn’t want to use her car to pick Lil Miss up from school she did use it to drop Lil Miss off at my house at 5pm yesterday afternoon (even though I had offered to pick her up). I had promised Lil Miss that we could go to Red Dot Hell after dinner and I would buy her a school outfit. Even though those were the words that came out of my mouth what she actually heard was “Gwanma will take me to Target and buy me a toy and some high heels”. It’s a little birth defect called “selective hearing” and you will find that most kids are born with it.

The first thing we did once we hit the store was to get the clothes shopping out of the way. She gravitated to the army clothing immediately. After all her Uncle Ben is an “Army Man” so that means she is allowed to wear “Army Man” clothes. The above is a picture of her wearing her new outfit for school this morning.

And speaking of this morning, I learned something interesting from Lil Miss when our dog Moose was pestering her this morning. She told him to leave her alone or she would give him “nibbletts”. Upon questioning her she told me that nibbletts are when she bites her doggie’s ear to make him behave. She assured me it works without fail. And to prove her point she gave Moose a little “nibblett”. She was right, it worked without fail!

Back to our shopping trip though – after she picked out her outfit the next stop was the dreaded shoe aisle. I hate that aisle! Lil Miss and her Auntie Brooklyn are the biggest shoe addicts I have ever seen in my life. They believe the gaudier the better. And they both love high heeled shoes. I tell you, Lil Miss is a clone of her Auntie Brooklyn. First she grabs a pair of red glitter covered “Dorothy” shoes like the ones Dorothy wore in the Wizard of Oz. I vetoed those right off the bat because even though she is only 6 I have bought her several pairs of those monstrosities in her short lifetime. I refuse to buy anymore Dorothy shoes. There is a lifetime limit to how many “Dorothy” shoes a person will buy and between Brooklyn and Lil MIss I have hit the limit.

Then Lil Miss spies my enemy – the dreaded tall black high heeled boot. I can’t tell you how many times I have sat in shoe aisles with Brooklyn arguing with her that she was too young for “hooker” boots. Now here I was arguing with Lil Miss that she was too young for “hooker” boots. Funny how life tends to repeat itself, eh? She was heart broken as these were the only shoes in the world that would make her happy. She didn’t know how she was going to be able to live if she couldn’t have these boots. Tough luck, I wasn’t budging!

Then she found a pair of boots that I actually considered purchasing. They were the cutest high heeled shiny pink Barbie boots. I didn’t care for the price tag however. I have to tell you though, if they were on sale I would have definitely bought them! In fact I may keep an eye out on these things, crazy as it sounds. I daresay she has worn me down.

To get her away from the temptation of the shoe aisle I told her she could get a toy. So off we went to the toy section. Now first off let it be known that I am NOT the one who wrote that on that toy pictured above. We just happened upon it like that. I thought it was so funny though that I had to snap a picture. I mean anytime you stumble upon the word poop by accident (no pun intended) it is funny. I digress though.

We are standing in the Barbie aisle looking at Polly Pockets dolls and I glance at the display of stuffed animals on the end cap that is about a foot away from me. And what do I see? An eye peeking out from behind a stuffed animal staring out at me. I jumped a mile and screamed bloody murder. I do mean a long blood curdling scream! The man that the eye was attached to stayed hidden and whispered “sorry but don’t scream again”. I whispered back “okay” and Lil Miss and I went on the next aisle. It seems this guy was the undercover security officer and he was watching a kid that was acting suspicious around the play station games. About 10 minutes later Lil Miss and I went back to the Polly Pockets and I looked at the end of the aisle but that guy was gone. I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I heard a voice whisper “don’t scream again” and damned if he wasn’t there! He had blended in so well that I had looked at him and not even seen him. I told him that too. He whispered back that the whole point of it was to blend in so people don’t see you. He was good, I’ll give him that. So if you are ever in Target and see an eyeball staring out at you behind a row of stuffed animals try not to scream.