Have you ever had one of those days where you could just swear that someone had put a voodoo curse on you? The G-man had one of those days yesterday. The first indication that his day was going amiss was at lunch when he used my new iced tea pitcher and somehow pressed incorrectly on the rubber stopper that controls the flow of the tea so the next thing we knew tea was gushing out of the spout onto the floor.
After lunch I heard the weed whacker being used out in the back yard. I just happen to look out the kitchen window at the same moment that the G-man picks up my huge tomato plant (full of green tomatoes) OFF THE GROUND! He had accidentally whacked it with the weed whacker. Now this was just plain stupidity if you ask me because who the hell uses a weed whacker in a veggie garden. Dude that is NOT the way to weed a garden! He looked up and saw me looking out the kitchen window and quickly turned away.
He leaves the weed whacker and dumps the evidence (the slain tomato plant) and decides to cut the grass instead. After about 5 minutes of that I suddenly hear a horrible grinding sound and then silence. He had run over a huge tree root in a corner of the yard and had bent the blade on the lawn mower. That would be the lawn mower that we bought near the end of last Summer so we haven’t even gotten a year out of it yet. Now he has to purchase a new blade for it. Oh I am real happy by this point as you can imagine.
At some point in the afternoon he had set his iced tea glass down in the kitchen sink. And as we later discovered, he may have set it down a little too hard. As we are preparing dinner he rinses out his empty iced tea glass and fills it up with iced tea. Tea gushed out the bottom of the glass all over his feet. It seems that when he had set the glass in the sink earlier a chunk of the bottom of the glass had broken off. So we clean up that mess.
After dinner we go to use the garbage disposal and it wont work. It is jammed with a chunk of glass from the G-man’s iced tea glass that had broken off in the sink earlier in the day. At this point the garbage disposal is still broken. Damn, that means I have to actually WALK over to the garbage can to throw away veggie peelings and such. Do you KNOW what a hassle that is? Damn!
By this point it isn’t even funny anymore and I am definitely nervous about being around the G-man. I mean I do NOT need any of his bad luck to rub off on me. I needed to go to the drugstore to pick up a box of insulin needles though and against my better judgment I not only let him go with me but I let him drive too! I’m a brave soul (or else stupid).
In the drugstore I take my time looking at this and that before going to the pharmacy counter to pick up my box of needles. After about 20 minutes though I go to the pharmacy counter (with both arms full of junk I wanted to buy). The pharmacist grabs my box of needles from behind the counter and goes to scan it in the cash register and suddenly BAM the power goes off in the entire store. We are in total darkness! The lights flicker on for a moment and then go out again. After about 3 or 4 minutes the lights come on for good and I see the G-man running up the aisle with a look of terror on his face. He hollered “I didn’t do it, I swear this is just a coincidence!” Likely story! Well even though the lights were on the computer system (and thus the cash register) was down. To make a long story short it was 25 minutes before they were able to get the cash registers going again. I have to say this much, when the G-man has a bad day, he HAS a bad day! Remind me to get the heck out of Dodge the next time he has a bad day!
