A miracle occurred in our household today. I woke up at 5:30 this morning. That is such an odd occurrence that I might actually mark it on the calendar so I can remember that one day that I woke up early. The G-man was shocked and asked me if I had an appointment. No, I replied, I just woke up early for some odd reason. Secretly I planned to go yard saling this morning and maybe that is the reason I woke up early. It wasn’t intentional though. And I was NOT letting the G-man know I planned on hitting yard sales. He thought when I said I wasn’t “having” anymore yard sales that it meant I wasn’t “going” to anymore yard sales either. Silly man. The G-man’s reasoning for being “anti-yard-salish” is that we just got rid of all of our junk so why would we want to replace it with more junk. He doesn’t understand that half of the fun of going to yard sales is actually seeing other peoples junk and the other half is the thrill of the hunt. Only a true yard saler would understand.

The yard sales were slim pickings today. It makes me see how wonderful my yard sale was. I had ridiculously low prices and a huge variety. I had just about anything you could name at my yard sale. The sales I went to today were overpriced and they barely had enough to even both putting out. I did get some nice wine glasses though. I wanted only 6 of them but they wouldn’t break up the set and insisted I purchase all 12. I guess we’ll have to start drinking a lot of wine.

My favorite was the self-important Carmelite who was selling a bunch of jigsaw puzzles. They had price stickers on them ranging from .25 to $1.50. I picked up a couple of .25 puzzles, a couple .50 ones and a $1 puzzle. The total she gave me was different than what I thought it should be so I made mention of it. She tells me that someone had mis-priced the puzzles and they were all 50 cents. I asked about the $1 puzzle and you know what she told me? “That one is $1. It is just the ones marked .50 and .25 that are .50.” That’s a Carmelite for you.

So what exactly is a Carmelite, you ask? Carmel is the suburb of Indianapolis that we live on the outskirts of. The housewives here are called Carmelites and are a self-important snotty breed. You can tell a Carmelite housewife because she is the one driving the huge Suburban with the soccer ball sticker on the back window. She always has her cell phone glued to her ear as she is driving hoards of junior Carmelites around. She is the one that always pulls in front of you causing you to slam on your brakes to avoid hitting her, meanwhile your Starbucks lands all over your dashboard. She will not acknowledge that she has almost caused a 4 car pileup because she is a Carmelite and therefore she owns the road. You should feel fortunate that she is allowing you to use “her” road at all! I am pretty sure that each state has their own “Carmel” and thus their own “Carmelites”. God save us all from these self-important cows with the over-inflated sense of entitlement and their Coach purses.

For Mothers Day about 5 years ago my eldest son gave me a hydrangea. It was the prettiest shade of blue. I planted it in front of the house. The 2nd year that it bloomed it looked more of a purplish blue. And the 3rd year it was definitely all purple. Now it has progressed to a pink. I thought I merely had a memory problem until I read in a magazine today that they will change color depending on the minerals in your soil. The fact that mine is now pink means that there is a lot of lime in my soil. I think that is so cool, but then again it doesn’t take much to excite me.

I got a call from the Doctors office today. Finally some good news! Although I do have coartation of the aorta it isn’t severe enough to warrant an operation at this time. Whoo-hoo!!! It’s great to get good news like that just before a long holiday weekend. I did have some bad news though. It seems the problems I’ve been having since the heart scan are because I am apparently allergic to the dye they injected in me. So now I am to tell them I am allergic if I should ever need a heart scan or CT scan so they won’t use the dye. Maybe that means I won’t have to have an IV the next time I have a heart scan or CT scan. And no IV means that my arm won’t be black and blue from the IV like it is now. Although doesn’t a black and blue arm mean you can’t do dishes or laundry? I am pretty sure it does.