Imagine staying up until 1am on Friday night and then falling asleep as soon as your head hit the pillow because you were so tired. That was the G-man and I last Friday. But then at 2am our dog started whining and scratching at the door. I hollered at him to shut up but he wouldn’t and then I noticed that all of the neighborhood dogs were barking that certain bark which means that there is a stranger in the neighborhood. And I can faintly hear a tap tap on the front door downstairs. I spring out of bed with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that something bad was about to happen. I pull open the blinds and look outside and see a police car in front of our house. That’s when the shakes started. I yelled at G-man to get up that the police were here and I threw on a robe and ran downstairs to answer the door.

The policewoman asked me if Sonny Boy was my son. I said yes and immediately asked the normal questions you ask when the police come to your door in the middle of the night. “Is he all right? Has he been hurt?” She assured me he was fine but told me I needed to go to the police station right away. She wouldn’t tell me what he did and I think now it is because she didn’t know. She was just the messenger. So the G-man and I head down to the police station at 2am to see what pit Sonny Boy has dug himself into now.

To make a long story short do you remember his ex-girlfriend? The one who was from the Ukraine and had wealthy parents. The one who drove a $70,000 car but cared about it so little that she stood on the roof of the car screaming that she was going to jump and commit suicide one of the times when he broke up with her? Remember that girl? Yes the same girl that I walked in on naked in his bedroom. Well of course she is at the head of all of this. She has been going around behind Sonny Boys back for the last month telling his old friends and her family that he has been beating her up and scratching her car, taking her money, stalking her, etc. Now Sonny Boy may have his faults but the things she was saying were completely untrue. I have caught the girl in several lies myself. But then she was going to Sonny Boys face and telling him she loved him, etc. In other words she is a nasty trouble maker and tries to get people to fight over her. It was working quite well. Her uncle went looking for Sonny Boy to beat him up. Her parents realized what was what and called the police to try to get them to keep the uncle from hurting Sonny Boy. The police found the uncle at the apartment complex where Sonny Boy was living. They stopped him and told him to leave the complex and not to come back. After the police drove around a corner the uncle turned around and went back into the complex and drove straight to the apartment where Sonny Boy was. The police were actually keeping an eye on the uncle and saw him turn around so they followed the uncle. The police saved him from getting his ass kicked. But in the process they noticed that there was beer on Sonny Boys breath, which isn’t a good thing since he is only 17. So they arrested him for under age drinking and then woke G-man and I up to come and get him.

I won’t go into all that has happened over the course of the weekend but the highlights are that Sonny Boy and his old friends are now buddies again and have vowed to never let a female come between them again. And Sonny Boy now knows all of the lies this girl was saying behind his back. So that’s where we are. I told Sonny Boy that I am not sinking another penny into him. He is going to be responsible for all of his probation fees and any fines the courts give him for underage drinking. We’ve had him on lock-down all weekend as well.

Other than that bit of drama we have been quite busy preparing for the yard sale we are having this weekend. I have sworn that this will be the last yard sale I ever have in my entire life. I hate hosting yard sales. Why the hell am I having a yard sale? I will tell you this, I am selling everything that isn’t nailed down. And all that doesn’t sell will go straight to Goodwill. Meanwhile I have the garage full of stuff ready to sell, as well as piles upon piles in the computer room, TV room and bedrooms. The only sacred places where I have vowed no yard sale junk could reside is the kitchen and bathrooms. The above picture is what my normally pristine dining room/family room looks like right now. You can ask anyone that has ever been here and they will tell you that we keep a very tidy house. So as you can imagine the G-man and I are freaking out over the piles of junk laying all around our house right now. While the first thing we do after the yard sale will be to take the leftovers to Goodwill, the second thing will be to clean our house so spotlessly that you could eat off the floors. Yes, we are anal. In the meantime we will just hang out in our only 2 clean rooms, the kitchen and the bathroom.

And speaking of bathrooms we had an unexpected shower on Saturday afternoon. Sonny Boy took a shower while the G-man was using the hose in the front of the house. Somehow the fact that he was using a hose while the shower was running caused a backup in the pipes and we had 3 inches of standing water in our front foyer (which is underneath the main bathroom. We had to pull out all of the ceiling tiles and replace them not to mention cleaning the floors and the walls. It was a mess! We haven’t had a problem since so the hose theory is the only reason we can come up with for what happened.

In the midst of preparing for yard sales and cleaning up bathroom floods I managed to plant more of my veggie garden. Sunday I spent the afternoon planting onion sets, green beans and radishes. I’ve already planted several tomato plants, sweet bell peppers, jalapenos, cayenne peppers, banana peppers, summer squash and zucchini plants. I knew I was in trouble around midnight when I had to take a morphine pill for my back. But I wasn’t prepared for the pain I would have this morning upon getting out of bed. Yes I am talking serious pain people. Serious pain! Confucius say woman with bad back should stay out of garden! Oh why didn’t I listen to Confucius? Well, you know that new laptop that I bought on Friday that I haven’t turned on all weekend and haven’t even setup yet? I think I’ll have a lot of time on my hands to set it up now as I lay on the sofa this week. Ouch!

I’ve spent so much time talking about our exhausting weekend that I forgot to give you a self proclaimed faith healer neighbor update, and yes I do have an update. Sorry but I’ll just have to save that for tomorrow kiddies. In the meantime enjoy your Monday ya’ll!