It’s so bloody cold here that hell even froze over in this area. I am talking frigid. And not frigid as in your Aunt Ethel either. Yesterday it was so cold that even Sonny Boy broke out the heavy coat. They were calling for 3 inches of snow in our area of the city yesterday. That never happened. What happened was worse. We had sleet. So instead of waking up to a blanket of snow we woke up to a sheet of ice. Not bad if you enjoy ice skating. But since I don’t ice skate anymore, it sucks! How cold was it? It was so cold that the faith healer neighbor and her family couldn’t stay in their house since they haven’t had heat in their house since the beginning of October. Her husband the Prophet hasn’t finished installing that woodstove they found in the city dump so they have been trying to keep warm with portable space heaters. When it gets down to ten degrees a space heater just isn’t going to cut it so they cut out. I don’t know if they went to a hotel or to someone’s house at the church they go to. But they have packed their clothes up in garbage bags (hillbilly luggage) and beat feet for warmer digs. Being such thoughtful and humane people they left their dog out in the back yard (it’s never been inside the house in it’s life) and they left the cat and the bunny in the heatless house. Real nice people, eh?



Hurray, I did it, I finally did it. And I like it! G-man liked it too! We made fudge together. We made the kind that is on the back of the marshmallow cream jar. Now you need to know the history of my fudge making career. My mother makes the best fudge in the world. She makes the kind with the marshmallow cream. Therefore I adopted that recipe and soon began making the best fudge in the world as well. I made a couple of batches of it every Christmas. One version with walnuts and one version without. Then I divorced. I went an entire year without cooking. And I went several Christmas’s without making any treats. But G-man and I married and settled down in the Midwest and I started doing holiday baking again. I boasted to him about how good my fudge was. I made a huge batch for him. It was the worst fudge I had ever tasted in my life. And after it cooled it became a brick. The next Christmas I tried again. Same problem. So the next Christmas I tried again but this time I used a candy thermometer. Once again I had created a lethal weapon that was only good for throwing through windows or building fireplaces with. Last year I didn’t even bother trying. This year I was determined however. I read the instructions very carefully. I used a candy thermometer. G-man helped me beat the fudge when it came time to drop the chocolate and marshmallow cream in it. This year it was edible. Hurray, we have fudge! I don’t know what I was doing wrong all of those years and I don’t know what I did right this year but I do know we have fudge. Ah… it’s Christmas!