Today was Harry Potter day. Hurray! I had my hot little ticket in my grubby hands and I was ready for the first show of the day, the infamous 10:00am showing. I was driving to the movie and my cell phone rang. Unfortunately I was driving the Tracker which is a stick shift. Have you ever tried to drive a stick shift while talking on a cell phone? It’s almost impossible. Normally I don’t answer the phone when I am driving the Tracker, since I need both hands to drive. But when I saw that the call was from Lil Miss’s school I picked up immediately. They wanted to know where Lil Miss was. She had not shown up for school and neither parent had called to say she was home sick. They tried calling Lil Miss’s mother but she had not provided them with a correct phone number. The only phone numbers they had for her were mine (which I gave to them just yesterday) and her fathers. I called my eldest as Lil Miss had spent the night at his house last night (he has 50% custody). He said that he had drooped her off at her mothers this morning before school as normal and that Lil Miss seemed perfectly fine. So we figure that Lil Miss’s mother has determined that the only way to make sure that she doesn’t forget to pick her daughter up after school (as in yesterday’s incidence) is to not let her go to school at all. This is called hillbilly logic and since Lil Miss’s mother went all the way through 10th grade before dropping out of high school I am sure she knows all about hillbilly logic. You know, cause she is edumacated and all. After all she is the only one in her family to have made it as far as the 10th grade. From what I hear she can even read, although I have yet to see it.

Alas, I can die happy now. I’ve seen the latest Harry Potter movie so I can say my life is complete, or at least until the next Harry Potter movie comes out. It felt so odd to go into a theater at 9:30 in the morning not to come out until 1:00 in the afternoon. Even though the movie started at 10:00am I got there 30 minutes early to get a good seat. Wouldn’t you know my favorite seats were already taken by then. The next time a Harry Potter movie comes out I am getting there an hour early. I was surprised that it was so busy. The last Harry Potter movie that I saw at 10:00am had only a handful of people attending. This time the theater was half full. Or is that half empty? And all were adults with the exception of two preschoolers. I would have to say that this was the most powerful Harry Potter movie to date. Nothing will compare with the first Harry Potter movie of course. I mean that’s up there with your first drink or the first time you had sex. But this one was more… well…it was…actually… it’s hard to explain, but if I were pressed for an explanation I would have to say it was more grownup rather than being a kids movie as the others were. I screamed at one point and jumped a mile in my chair. And at another point I burst into tears. All in all I loved it and I recommend it.

In the coming attractions that they show before the movie starts they showed one, which I can’t wait to see. It is called Lady in the Water and is written and directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Remember how good The Village was? (Or was I the only one that thought The Village was good?) This movie looks even better. The premise of the movie is the superintendent of an apartment building discovers a sea nymph in the building's pool. Paul Giamatti plays the superintendent. He was in the movie Sideways if saw that.

They also showed a trailer for the new King Kong movie. Talk about a new spin on the old King Kong story. This movie features dinosaurs, pirates and angry natives with bad teeth. Come on people, dinosaurs, pirates? Give me a break. As for the natives, no big surprise there as it is known world wide that the National Healthcare for Natives plan has lousy dental coverage. Write your congressman people.

After the movie I did a very stupid thing. (I know, you are thinking only ONE stupid thing?) I went to the golden McArches. Yes, the nasty place. I have had a craving for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese for more than a week. I figured what better time to satisfy that craving. (Come on now, at least it wasn’t a craving for a WhiteCastle) Oh how I wish I hadn’t given into that craving. Cravings can be dangerous to your health. It started about 30 minutes after I finished eating it. A pancreatitis attack. What the hell was I thinking? Most of you probably don’t know this about me but I suffer from recurrent pancreatitis. That means that quite often when you eat foods high in fat you get horrible pains in your abdomen and vomit rather violently and repeatedly. Occasionally you turn a rather impressive shade of yellow as well. I can honestly say I prayed for death this afternoon. What a sad situation. And all over a stupid Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Damn you Ronald! Fortunately I have medication just for such an attack. It doesn’t make the attack stop but it does help you deal with the symptoms. And more important it keeps you out of the hospital. All is on the mend this evening and I may live to see yet another day or at least yet another Harry Potter movie. With a diet of clear fluids for the next 24 to 48 hours I will be just fine.

It pisses me off actually because I hadn’t had a bad attack like that in a month or two. Therefore I had lulled myself into a false sense of security and I dropped my guard. That’s when it sneaks up on you and kicks your ass. What the hell was I thinking anyway? First buttered popcorn for breakfast at the movie and then that nasty McArches burger for lunch. I probably deserved what I got for being so stupid as to eat it.

Now I think I’d better end this post for today because I am drifting in and out of lucidity. I take morphine when I get a bad attack like this and I am just one step away from seeing little green men walking on top of my computer desk. Why is it always men? Why do you never see little green women? It’s always men isn’t it? It’s not so bad really because I find that I’m becoming quite fond of little green men. Hey, there goes one now.

Note: I just want to make sure everyone knows that I was just kidding about the little green men. They were actually blue.

Disclaimer: No little green men were harmed in the making of this post. Nor were any blue ones. We can not speak for the purple ones however. And as always, do not try this at home, we are trained professionals.